You know what one of the largest problems is with some games today? They take themselves way too seriously. I mean, let’s be honest: Games are supposed to be fun, diversionary activities, not freaking brain surgery. If I rescue a princess or save a planet from imminent destruction, I don’t receive a parade, get a medal, or even have my bills paid. It’s even worse when you play an established franchise, because fans seem to live and die with every single criticism of their favorite title. Wouldn’t it be great if one of these respected games didn’t take itself so damn severely? Well, thanks to Brian Fargo, creator of Fallout, one of the most venerated RPGs is about to be revisited with a tongue planted firmly in its cheek. Check your sarcasm at the door and grab a pint of ale, because it’s time to hear The Bard’s Tale.





Older gamers will probably remember the Bard’s Tale series as one of the first RPGs to implement 3D dungeon crawling. Usually revolving around the titular character and a party of traveling companions, these games were renowned for complex plotlines involving the safety of the realm from a massive threat. Your party, a willing group of heroes, sallied forth and took on the overwhelming odds, becoming legendary warriors in the process. What does this history lesson have to do with this remake? Absolutely nothing!





In fact, the Bard within this game is much more of a cynical bastard than a beacon of hope. He’s much more interested in drinking and wenching than rescuing the land or sticking his neck out for anyone. This actually is a fact that he’s quick to remind the citizens of every town he enters, because he’s not really looking for danger. However, danger inevitably seems to find him, and often in the strangest ways. For instance, the very first “quest” he receives is from a barmaid who wants him to kill a rat in her cellar. Aside from making fun of the standard “find a monster and kill it” convention that’s found in every RPG, he makes a point of demanding “satisfaction” from her as a reward for his deed. This is actually one of the major selling points of the game, as players will be able to determine just how snarky and insulting the Bard will be in conversation. Some characters will respond well to abuse, while others will take away quests or other options that they’d offer to you.





Like many action/RPG hybrids, the Bard can use a number of melee and ranged weapons to eliminate his enemies. However, he won’t be able to simply wade into a group of monsters and mindlessly hack away. That way leads to him being planted six feet under, and who wants that? Instead, the Bard will have to learn to parry incoming attacks before launching his own if he hopes to land a combo or two. For instance, when taking on the aforementioned rat, he can calmly bash on the timid creature until it dies. When the true monster in the bar basement shows up, he needs to show more patience between blows and a solid defense to survive.





If he needs the help, he’ll have the option to summon potential allies or cast spells thanks to his musical ability. By playing a lyre, the Bard can invoke everything from minor creatures like Thunder Spiders to additional party members, like the Huntress. He’ll also be able to summon goddesses to heal him when severely injured. What’s more, he’ll have the chance to “recruit” one of the most unlikely assistants in the game: a little dog. You might laugh at first, but the little pooch is extremely helpful. It will dig up hidden items that can be sold for money and alert you to danger, amongst other abilities.

The attention to specific details like shimmering spell effects and background textures is extremely nice. However, the most impressive feature so far is the voice acting provided by none other than Cary Elwes of The Princess Bride fame. His delivery as a wiseass is extremely funny, and there are plenty of times where he’ll get into a running argument with the narrator of the story, played by Tony Jay (most recognizable to gamers from the Soul Reaver series). The Bard’s Tale sings it’s way into stores later this month, so check back soon for a full review!