Hey people out in gaming land, this is your friendly
neighbourhood reviewer TraderX back again with a
new review for a new (I think) game. Now, before I
start I've got to give you some quick background
on this "game". My day was going perfect, nice
weather, Quake 2, and some great food.. UNTIL I
installed a little game called Berzerker Birdz. Now I
have to say, this game is so depressing it's not
even funny. Probably coded by some dude in his
basement, with some cheesy graphics and awful
gameplay, this may be the saddest game 1998 has
seen so far.
Let's start with the gameplay (what's left
of it)... Okay when you first start it up your are
directly in the game. At first I thought this was
some kind of introduction of some sort, so I
naturally pressed escape. There it was, the button
saying "Return to the action", my first thought was
how can I _return_ to the action if it never started?
Okay, so I click on it and it's back in the screen I
thought was the introduction. I could not believe
that this was the game!?!?! Anyways, I tried to
make best of what was available. The basics of the
the gameplay are you are some sort of screwed up
bird saving the galaxy from what remotely
resembles space aliens. Nice story line, but I think
these were trashed about 10 years ago... Anyway,
you are on some sort of surfboard and you float
around and shoot this aliens. First level was pretty
good, second level was okay, third level started
getting annoying, and by the fifth level it is quite
obvious that every level is the same! I truly think
the aliens do the exact same movements in every
level, okay maybe thats taking a bit too far, but
that is the feeling you get. That's about as far the
gameplay goes folks! As for the control, well left
click puts you in "shoot mode" (guess what that
does) and r-click puts you in "flying mode"
(another big guess here...).
Okay, now that that is out of the way, we
can get to the Okay part of the game. The sound, I
must admit its not half as a bad as the gameplay,
althought it could definately use some work. The
laser blasts are pretty cheesy, and same with the
explosion sound (no, that's not meant to be
plural). But everything else is okay, and the music
(which I think was done by the coder playing his
guitar) is half decent as well.. So if you want
something to listen to, you _might_ consider
playing this game.
As far as graphics go, man they need
some work. Even my good friend Phire can
honestly create better graphics in a game. I mean,
even the menus look ghetto! I think the game uses
8 bit colour, and has NO hardware support
whatsoever. So all the 3DFX fans will
be glad to know another game is out there to take
advantage of the $200 they spent . Um,
what else can I say besides take a look at the
screenshots (I tried to get the best ones possible),
to see for yourself if you don't believe me. The 3D
rendered Berzerker Bird at the beginning (which is
a still image) is the only worthy component in the
graphical department, so the game get a few
points for having him.
There is no multiplayer or anything of
the sort, the options range from "loud to soft" and
the difficulty levels are far too varied. I mean,
putting it on very difficult let's you see the screen
for approximately 5 seconds before it's
Game-Over.
So here is my overall opinion: Don't even
bother with this game. I know some of you out
there are just going to try it to see how bad it is for
yourself, and if (for some odd undiscovered
reason) you DO like the game, then don't argue
with me about it, I'm just a reviewer. Damn, I forgot
to mention the elite code base this game was
programmed in, Macromedia Director, yea the
same sh*t they use to make educational software
and such (once again, just ask Phire on IRC). What
it all boils down to? Well if you need a good laugh,
pick up this game, I think it retails for $5.99 at
Stikman's Kwiki Mart.
Graphics: 4 / 20
Sound: 7 / 15
Gameplay: 2 / 25
Fun Factor: 1 / 20
Multiplayer Play: 0 / 5
Packaging: 5 / 5
Overall Impression: 2 / 10
Overall Rating: 21 / 100