That's right folks, Simon & 'Slim' Schuster are at it again. With 
such parodies as Deer Avenger and Panty Raider already under 
their belt, the next target appears to be ABC's hit game show Who 
Wants To Be A Millionaire. Who Wants To Beat Up A Millionaire is 
the name of the game and it offers you the opportunity to do 
exactly what the title insinuates, give the millionaire of your 
choice, the beating of his or her life. Who Wants To Beat Up A 
Millionaire plays out like a series of jokes, poking fun at everything 
from Regis Philbin's mannerisms to game shows in general. When 
all is said and done though, the last laugh is on the gamer.
You begin Who Wants To Beat Up A Millionaire by selecting the 
millionaire you'd most like to knock the crap out of. In good ol' 
Simon & Schuster fashion, the list of suspects comprises the usual 
stereotypical millionaires including the Internet/Computer nerd, 
the young blonde who got her millions from her much older and 
recently deceased husband, the bratty son who inherited all his 
money from his old man, and a sheik among others. 
Once you've selected the lucky man or woman, it's time to jump 
into the hot seat and answer a series of multiple-choice questions 
in order to get the opportunity to wail on the millionaire.
The questions in Who Wants To Beat Up A Millionaire are similar 
to those asked in the real Millionaire show. If you get a question 
correct, you'll be given approximately 10 seconds to lay the smack 
down on your chosen millionaire. If you answer the question 
incorrectly, they'll be no punches thrown and the game will be 
over. The more questions you get right, the more pounding you'll 
be able to dish out. There are an assortment of punches you can 
throw including jabs and uppercuts, and once you've hit the 
millionaire a certain number of times, they're monetary value 
decreases from one million, to five hundred thousand, to two 
hundred thousand, etc. Answer enough questions right and 
eventually the millionaire will have no money to go along with 
those black eyes.
To help you along the way, you're given three lifeboats, which are 
the equivalent to lifelines. You can 'Chicken Out' of a question, 
after which you'll be given a new question. You can select 'One Or 
The Other', which is the equivalent of a 50-50 lifeline. Last but not 
least, you can receive a 'Fortune Cookie' which basically lets you 
know whether or not the answer you wish to give is on the right 
track or not. The lifeboats are actually quite poor considering all 
the possible options they could have implemented. They aren't 
much different than the regular lifelines found in Who Wants To Be 
A Millionaire and they aren't particular funny either. Another item 
to help your cause is the addition of Special Weapons. Once 
you've successfully answered a number of questions, you'll be 
awarded a weapon to use in your thrashings. The items in 
question usually have some sort of significance to each of the 
millionaires, supposedly making it all the sweeter. The special 
weapons are also a bit of a letdown though, as they aren't that 
hilarious either.
Who Wants To Beat Up A Millionaire boasts approximately 750 
questions, so you won't see questions repeat themselves for quite 
awhile. The questions are much simpler compared to the 
questions in Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, a move obviously 
intended to give gamers an easier avenue to the action segments. 
I was able to go all the way almost immediately upon trying the 
game, so the payoff is quick (if not premature) to say the least. 
Who Wants To Beat Up A Millionaire is hosted by a Regis Philbin 
look-alike, who features all the mannerisms of his real-life 
counterpart. Much of the hilarity (although there's not much of it) is 
produced via the game show host as he whips out quick quips 
whenever possible. There appears to be about a half dozen 
comments for each particular event, so the speech does become 
repetitive pretty quick.
In terms of graphics, Who Wants To Beat Up A Millionaire is clearly 
made by the same folks behind the Deer Avenger series. The 
visuals are all extremely cartoonish, a style that works best for 
such a parody. Speech dominates the audio department and 
simple keyboard controls are the order of the day in terms of 
interface. Multiplayer consists of hot seat with up to 4 players at 
one time. Each of the contestants basically takes turns answering 
questions, then dishing out punishment. 
Simon & Schuster Interactive describes Who Wants To Beat Up A 
Millionaire as side-splitting humour. Side-splitting? Let me tell you 
something, "There's Something About Mary" was side-splitting, 
"Me, Myself and Irene" was side-splitting at times, Who Wants To 
Beat Up A Millionaire is not side-splitting humour. That's not to say 
the game doesn't have its moments, I did giggle once or twice but 
that was about it. Who Wants To Beat Up A Millionaire is simply a 
string of jokes, many of which don't work. In the end, the joke will 
be on the individuals who actually pay $20 for this game.
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