Please don?t make me play with my monkey. Please don?t make me play with my monkey. Please don?t make me play with my monkey. How often do you think you get to use a line like that in game reviews? I restart where I left off, looking at the guys and their boat on the beach. I?ve had a good day, god is in a benevolent mood, and I go take wood from the village stores so they can finish their boat. They?re very grateful, but then sing about how they would like some grain. There is already grain in a pile right next to them (left over from the food miracle for the nearby village), so as soon as they are done singing, they thank me for the grain. Now they?re singing about how grain gets boring and they need some meat. These guys are getting on my nerves. Can?t they do anything for themselves? Next they?ll be singing about how they would really like a beer to wash down the grain and meat. Also, their songs are pretty long and I can?t figure out how to skip them. There are some rocks nearby; I could still smash the boat? No, I?ve been nice this long, and there are some sheep near the rocks to give them. They thank me for the meat, and launch their boat. It sails away, with a lot of clipping at the waterline, and I?m rewarded with a small statue that produces water miracles. I can pick up the water miracle and make it rain water like I could use food miracles to make it rain food. I have no idea why I would want to make it rain.
Big bear tells me he?s ready to teach me and my monkey some more, so I go to the temple to get my monkey, but he?s not there. I drag around a little, and find him already with the bear. The bear shrinks down to the size of my monkey, and teaches us how to fight. It?s a mixed bag involving lots of mouse clicks to block and punch, more a clickfest than any real strategy. Midway through the fight, the boatmen start singing about wanting meat. Methinks I?ve hit a bug. It?s a worse one than I thought, because midway through the fight I?m suddenly dropped back into windows.
Restart the game, and I?m back at the boat. Swell. Get them wood, grain, meat, learn to fight, crash. Restart, boat, wood, grain, meat, fight, crash. I?m sensing a pattern, and it?s not a good one. I?m thinking that maybe the grain being there before they ask for it is causing problems. Or maybe I need to reboot the machine to clean out them memory. Rebooting a win98 machine, as I?m sure you all know, takes approximately 6 hours and 43 minutes. I?m out of patience, so I?ll try again tomorrow.
A three-hour marathon? Take me to Day Four!