Top 10 E3 Announcements
Date: May 3rd
Number 9:
Number 8:
Number 7:
Number 6:
Number 5:
Number 4:
Number 3:
Number 2:
Number 1:
Hope you enjoyed this little parody, we now return you to your regularly scheduled
programming. Forward all lawsuits to Game Over Online
Magazine.
From the home office in Toronto, Ontario, Canada; here's the Top 10 Announcements that will be
made at the 1999 Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3).
Number 10:
The bleem! team will make an appearance and announce that their long awaited emulator is
finally available for download from their server. Customers seem confused, when the finished
download turns out to be directions to Al Capone's vault.
WizardWorks announces they've signed Al Lowe, creator of the infamous Leisure Suit Larry
Series, to collaborate on the newest game in their 'Hunter' series. Beaver Hunter is
released three months later, and teenage males around the world forget Lara Croft ever existed.
Microsoft reports the acquisition of WizardWorks, and immediately announces their upcoming
release schedule. Deer Hunter Madness and their revolutionary new title, Redneck Offroad Madness,
are to be in stores in time for the holiday season!
Eidos Interactive is pleased to announce that due to recent 3D technological improvements, Tomb
Raider 4 is in final development, and is expected to ship during the summer. No new upgrades are
noticeable, except the fact Lara Croft's chest now bounces with realistic precision. The game
goes on to sell over a million copies.
3D Realms announces that Duke Nukem Forever has been delayed yet again, and won't be ready
for another year. The delay is due to yet another engine switch, this time to WizardWorks'
Deer Hunter engine. 3D Realms also announces that the title has been re-named to Duke Nukem
NEVER!
Ion Storm apologizes to press members, stating that John Romero won't be making any appearances
at their E3 booth in the L.A Convention Center. Apparently John's ego couldn't make it through
the front door. In a non-related news story, the Gathering of Developers announce that while their
outdoor 'Promised Lot' was a good idea at the time, they will re-locate back into the Center
for the year 2000.
Sierra Sports announces that if press members wish to interview any of the programmers that
worked on NFL Football Pro 99, the interviews must be conducted during 'Happy Hour' at the
Gathering of Developers' 'Promised Lot'.
Blizzard showcases Diablo II and announces the game is 70% complete! Press members and Diablo
fans alike, rejoice. A year and a half later, Diablo II is finally released.
Capcom, after years of practice, finally learn to count to three. They immediately announce
the development of Street Fighter III for the PC, to be released later in the year.
Three words, Extreme Paintbrawl 2